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    Marcia Gay Harden says mothers who don’t accept their LGBTQ children are making a great big mistake: “We need our lesbians! They fix things. They will power wash your back patio. They will change your tires.”

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    29 Comments

    1. Alizarik7891 on

      So. I’m bisexual. I love Marcia Gay Harden’s work. And I would never speak for lesbians if they find this sort of acknowledgment positive. But I personally interpreted a bit along the lines of ‘we need gay men! They do our hair and perform in musical theatre!’ 

    5. susandeyvyjones on

      All of her kids are queer, I’m hoping they gave her the ok for this

    6. bakasana212 on

      only accept your children if their sexual orientation means they’ll be useful to you!

    8. WaffleBiscuitBread on

      This reminds me of Kelly Osbourne’s “Who will clean your toilets” moment except despite the comment being similarly reductionist towards the value of immigrants, I actually thought Kelly was making a better point about both Trump and the fact that immigrants take on jobs that many Americans will not do.

      Like Marcia Gay Harden means well with this, but the thing that should sway mothers to accept their gay daughters definitely is not manual labor.

    9. Groundbreaking-Duck on

      This is the kind of joke that *might* work with a queer woman telling it in a standup set or some other very niche context.

      Here it does not work.

    11. rabbit_troop on

      Reminds me of an old boss of mine, who once called me “dyke-y” because I knew the difference between a flathead and Phillips screwdriver lol

      Like, that’s just basic life knowledge. It’s got nothing to do with me being a lesbian. I’m sure plenty of straight women can change their own tires.

    14. newleafwiki on

      I understand the sentiment but I truly hate these kinds of statements. lesbians shouldnt be protected because theyre useful. they should be protected because theyre human. what about disabled lesbians who need other to have all these tasks and more done *for* them? are they not “needed”? it just irks me.

    15. ryan13ts on

      Her heart may be in the right place, but boy oh boy, that doesn’t sound great.

    16. itsathrowawayduhhhhh on

      She pretends she needs those things done then finds a lesbian to do them because she wants a sexy lesbian to come over ☺️ she tried lol

    17. No_Mathematician6866 on

      Dare to break self-imposed gender stereotypes, Marcia. Wash your own damn patio.

    18. Aklitty on

      Capitalism is so entrenched in these people’s brains that even basic empathy has to be transactional

    20. Only_Emphasis2996 on

      As a lesbian who fixes things my landlord is the luckiest/happiest he’s ever been. Last month me and my partner were in the crawl space fixing the pipes that had been emptyping feces into his crawl space for over a year (before we moved in). No one knew what the smell was 💩. All cleaned, pipes replaced, all fixed. Lesbians (some not all) are very… handy 😜.

    21. AutonomyIsNoTragedy on

      Lesbians are valuable because theyre human beings, not because they can do xyz things for you.

      LGBTQIA people aren’t objects or servants or free labor, if you’re saying you’re an ally because you want to pressure lesbians to do free labor housework for you after you’ve abused them all their childhood but now you find them useful you’re not an ally or a good parent or a decent person

      The tone of this is really disrespectful and self centered. its the same shit as when people only talk about trans people in terms of what we can “teach” cis people about gender norms or whatever while ignoring us and not really caring about our human rights

      just the sheer lesbiphobic misogyny is grotesque

    22. HopelessHelena on

      We also need our lazy lesbians with close to no talent and our gays who can’t do anything correctly and our trans folks who suck at life and our non binary folks who can barely function ❤️ bad take from Marcia Gay even if I get where she was trying to go with it lol

    25. bron685 on

      TikTok taught me the handywomen stereotype is a stereotype for a reason, but I would’ve said “they fix things! They start with your house and they work their way up to government to fix structural societal issues. They build community.”

      It’s still a generalization, but it could’ve pulled a tired joke out of a nosedive.

      Also IME, no one has stronger communities than lesbians

    26. JenningsWigService on

      I can’t change a tire to save my life, we’re not all handywomen. Also, she’s 66 years old, I don’t care if she tries a joke that doesn’t land. I wish someone like her had talked my mother into accepting me. I am more annoyed/offended by things that much younger fellow members of the queer community say about lesbians.

    27. jennyvasan on

      On the spectrum of things harming queer people, this slight groaner of a statement from a well-meaning old straight lady is pretty low on the list imo

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