‘Astrolatry’ to premiere at the Cannes Festival Film Market in May. It follows a chronic masturbator whose obsession with a beauty cream model propels him into violent delusions, culminating in an accidental castration. His severed penis becomes sentient, embarking on a psychosexual killing spree.
by BunyipPouch
37 Comments
um
Next r/movies thread about “it’s all sequels and reboots” is getting this fucking flung at them.
Well okay then
oh my
[King Missile – Detachable Penis](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DbyDiILrNbM4&ved=2ahUKEwi5i4Co29yTAxXAg2oFHfg0DgcQ78AJegQIHhAB&sqi=2&usg=AOvVaw0Gi16aGpppB4lKY_xCj_kX)
Good, we need more relatable movies in the cinema.
What?
This is it, this is the movie of the century.
That says something about how much genre filmmaking has grown in ambition and scale. A severed penis horror-satire getting industry buzz at Cannes would have been unthinkable 15 years ago, and now it’s just a Tuesday.
“This happened to my buddy, Eric.” – some future Letterboxd review
That’s just how it goes on this bitch of an earth
/r/BrandNewSentence
Bro, what?
Yea, Imma have to pass on that, but thanks.
This sounds like exactly the kind of film I am utterly disinterested in seeing!
Oh! I love Mad Libs!
i read this to my partner. her response: “don’t we have enough dicks in the media? i’ve had enough of sentient penises this year. i don’t want to watch that.”
The next film will be the giant penis from Beau Is Afraid going against this murderous penis.
I will write a letter to AMC asking/demanding that this movie comes to all their theaters. Nicole Kidman would want this playing in theaters.
I was not expecting that last sentence, sounds absurd and completely insane, I’m in
I feel like this was a sketch on Robot Chicken
Two instances of r/brandnewsentence in one headline. Bravo
Yet ANOTHER reboot?
That’s just a modern retelling of Shakespeare’s ‘Love’s Labour’s Lost’, why can’t Hollywood do anything different!?!
That’s not castration
Maybe the film industry collapsing isn’t the worst thing that could happen.
Pack it in boys, cinema has peaked.
All downhill from here.
Way to spoil it
They really dropped the ball not naming this movie “Gooner’
And to think people believe modern filmmakers are out of touch with what audiences want to see.
Huh
So which one of yall is this movie about?
How is this a real movie lmao
What a stupid title
That is a string of words I never even considered going together in that order. The amount of drugs that must have been involved in the creation of the script must have been truly legendary.
I hate it when that happens.
Sounds like a Henenlotter movie. I immediately thought of Brain Damage.
What the fuck did I just read.