I read the title as she lied about her double mastectomy 😭 I was like wtf
Calista189 on
I appreciate her sharing this about her experience. I understand the inclination but so many of the “cancer warrior” vibes seem to just put added pressure on especially women going through what’s likely the worst experience of their lives. Like fuck cancer. It’s the worst. It should be just as fine to be bitter, scared, sad and/or angry about it as it is to put on a brave face and say you’re “fighting it” as hard as you can imo.
Happy-Fennel5 on
There is a lot of pressure on people to be “ok” when they have health crises. To act like they have a positive outlook and not get too negative. It’s so fucking toxic. One of my parents has ALS and all she wants to do is have frank discussions around her fears and sadness and half our family completely invalidates that and tells her she’s being too negative. But she’s dying from a horrible and debilitating disease with no real treatments and just needs to be able to express herself and grieve. So I’m the one who listens to her and validates that it is so shitty. So all I have to say to everyone that “staying positive” is sometimes just living in denial and avoiding your feelings of grief. There’s no way but through so have those hard conversations with your sick loved one and connect in their truth.
Expensive-Cloud-4357 on
I absolutely feel for her. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 35. I found it very easy to fall into a trap of toxic positivity to please / comfort the people around me. Hearing someone say how truly awful the experience of treatment and its aftermath is, isn’t something many people want to hear/ know how to deal with. I have awful keloid scarring from my surgery and it means that every day, I am confronted with what happened and the fear that it might come back. I can’t escape it and that can be a very difficult thing to live with. I’m really glad that she is being so frank about both the cancer and the MS. I hope it helps others to feel they aren’t alone and they don’t need to bottle it up.
hudson-williams on
I’m in the midst of Stage 4B right now, and I do think you need a delusional amount of positivity to get through it.
I signed a DNR at my worst. Lost my temper at family and doctors even though I knew they were only trying to help.
We do a lot of things to cope, and not all of them will be rational.
Nisi-Marie on
My partner is navigating breast cancer right know. First chemo is tomorrow. Already did a surgery and full lymph node removal. Facing another surgery post chemo, followed by radiation.
In the paperwork, they tell you to nominate your “dependable person”. In this case, that’s me. I’m the one that gets to synthesize all the information and remember all the instructions when she is so overwhelmed that after 10 minutes of Dr. talk it all sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
I totally get everything that Christina talks about. All the cancer stuff is framed as fighting pretty, being a warrior, everything pink. But reality is that it’s a horrifically ugly and dehumanizing process where they’re going to cut off chunks of your body, pump you through some of the worst poisons known to man, and then blast you with radiation.
I don’t really have a point, but this post really resonated with me.
Ok_Gazelle_4442 on
Gosh what a mix of emotions. I’m glad she’s finding out her true feelings and channeling them. It’s ok to be open and upset about things. It’s ok to not feel ok. I’m glad she’s being honest with herself. It’s such a difficult thing to go through alongside MS. Much love to her. Keep on going, Ms Applegate.
Breezeknee on
I got diagnosed with a life changing chronic illness three years ago that completely rocked my world. I look back at how I dealt with the news and fallout to me and my spouse and realize we both were doing the best we could. It’s brave of her to share this part of her journey and I completely understand the desire to present as okay or act like everything isn’t shit at the time. It’s also okay to look back and grieve it differently now. Trauma that carries forward like that is weird and loving yourself is a lifelong commitment.
ThatBabyIsCancelled on
I get it and I get it.
With me, there’s facets, and they don’t always line up!
I’m super positive about my shitty health issues to strangers, but I know that in private, the same day, I go the fuck off about it and it’s usually about how fucking unfair and shitty it is.
I’m super positive! It’s also really fucking shitty!
ganglof2 on
Also diagnosed at 36 and had a double mastectomy. Crazy.
I feel so differently though. I could care less about my boobs. Just don’t feel like the recovery has been tough at all honestly.
AZPines on
I have a few chronic health conditions, including cystic fibrosis, and the need for a g/j feeding tube for 80-100% of my nutrients and then IV fluids for 4-6 hours a week for hydration needs. I’ve had 3 organs removed, including my entire thyroid.
All of that happened over the course of 2 years, including the diagnosis of cystic fibrosis at 33.
I saw my life slip through my fingers and it felt like overnight I went from fully functioning to feeling like it’s a massive fight every day. I had to leave work last May to go on disability. I often sit at a table during social events or holidays with an empty plate in front of me. I often have to leave events early due to symptoms that can change hourly. And traveling is an entirely different experience when you have to bring 5 cartons of food for each day, and I’m not able to enjoy the local cuisine like I used to.
It’s hard to explain the pressure you feel to be the good patient. To be the patient with the right “outlook,” to make other people comfortable. To be the patient who says they have no limits, they’ve got this! To be the strong person that society has come to expect… I couldn’t imagine all of that pressure amplified as a celebrity.
The reality is that medical stuff is a shitty experience and we constantly try to downplay what we are going through to make others comfortable. Worse is when we discount someone else’s own medical concerns to make ourselves less uncomfortable.
I can sit here and say that while I hate that I have to have my feeding tube, I love that I have it since it gave me back a lot of my life. Or, from a travel perspective, because I use my formula, I end up with an empty suitcase on the way home for souvenirs.
Makes me sound strong and like I have the right perspective to beat this thing.
But I can also easily go visit Pity City and trauma dump on anyone who’s willing to listen. And sometimes I end up moving into Pity City for a little bit. Depression is a bitch and one hell of a real estate agent.
My biggest take away from my own experience is that we shouldn’t tell anyone what their experience is and what it means. And we also shouldn’t ask anyone to describe their experience unless we are willing to listen to the hard shit. And, really, it’s just none of our business unless they want it to be.
Not sure what the point of my post is. I just feel for her. My mom has MS, is on hospice, and 100% bed-bound. The disease, like so many others, is fucking horrible.
Package_Glittering on
I had a mastectomy and reconstruction in my early 30’s. It complicated. I hate looking at the scars that will never go away. But, I’m so grateful to be here and ours never hate on anyone struggling with their body post-surgery.
lousie42 on
I really appreciate this, as her original statement did personally affect me and made me feel like I should get one too and other celebs that were getting the double mastectomy like it was so easy and a no brainer choice. I am a breast cancer gene carrier and it is not the only option, it is an extremely intense and difficult surgery, it is not just a regular boob job and it was not the first thing my doctor suggested.
14 Comments
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I read the title as she lied about her double mastectomy 😭 I was like wtf
I appreciate her sharing this about her experience. I understand the inclination but so many of the “cancer warrior” vibes seem to just put added pressure on especially women going through what’s likely the worst experience of their lives. Like fuck cancer. It’s the worst. It should be just as fine to be bitter, scared, sad and/or angry about it as it is to put on a brave face and say you’re “fighting it” as hard as you can imo.
There is a lot of pressure on people to be “ok” when they have health crises. To act like they have a positive outlook and not get too negative. It’s so fucking toxic. One of my parents has ALS and all she wants to do is have frank discussions around her fears and sadness and half our family completely invalidates that and tells her she’s being too negative. But she’s dying from a horrible and debilitating disease with no real treatments and just needs to be able to express herself and grieve. So I’m the one who listens to her and validates that it is so shitty. So all I have to say to everyone that “staying positive” is sometimes just living in denial and avoiding your feelings of grief. There’s no way but through so have those hard conversations with your sick loved one and connect in their truth.
I absolutely feel for her. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 35. I found it very easy to fall into a trap of toxic positivity to please / comfort the people around me. Hearing someone say how truly awful the experience of treatment and its aftermath is, isn’t something many people want to hear/ know how to deal with. I have awful keloid scarring from my surgery and it means that every day, I am confronted with what happened and the fear that it might come back. I can’t escape it and that can be a very difficult thing to live with. I’m really glad that she is being so frank about both the cancer and the MS. I hope it helps others to feel they aren’t alone and they don’t need to bottle it up.
I’m in the midst of Stage 4B right now, and I do think you need a delusional amount of positivity to get through it.
I signed a DNR at my worst. Lost my temper at family and doctors even though I knew they were only trying to help.
We do a lot of things to cope, and not all of them will be rational.
My partner is navigating breast cancer right know. First chemo is tomorrow. Already did a surgery and full lymph node removal. Facing another surgery post chemo, followed by radiation.
In the paperwork, they tell you to nominate your “dependable person”. In this case, that’s me. I’m the one that gets to synthesize all the information and remember all the instructions when she is so overwhelmed that after 10 minutes of Dr. talk it all sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
I totally get everything that Christina talks about. All the cancer stuff is framed as fighting pretty, being a warrior, everything pink. But reality is that it’s a horrifically ugly and dehumanizing process where they’re going to cut off chunks of your body, pump you through some of the worst poisons known to man, and then blast you with radiation.
I don’t really have a point, but this post really resonated with me.
Gosh what a mix of emotions. I’m glad she’s finding out her true feelings and channeling them. It’s ok to be open and upset about things. It’s ok to not feel ok. I’m glad she’s being honest with herself. It’s such a difficult thing to go through alongside MS. Much love to her. Keep on going, Ms Applegate.
I got diagnosed with a life changing chronic illness three years ago that completely rocked my world. I look back at how I dealt with the news and fallout to me and my spouse and realize we both were doing the best we could. It’s brave of her to share this part of her journey and I completely understand the desire to present as okay or act like everything isn’t shit at the time. It’s also okay to look back and grieve it differently now. Trauma that carries forward like that is weird and loving yourself is a lifelong commitment.
I get it and I get it.
With me, there’s facets, and they don’t always line up!
I’m super positive about my shitty health issues to strangers, but I know that in private, the same day, I go the fuck off about it and it’s usually about how fucking unfair and shitty it is.
I’m super positive! It’s also really fucking shitty!
Also diagnosed at 36 and had a double mastectomy. Crazy.
I feel so differently though. I could care less about my boobs. Just don’t feel like the recovery has been tough at all honestly.
I have a few chronic health conditions, including cystic fibrosis, and the need for a g/j feeding tube for 80-100% of my nutrients and then IV fluids for 4-6 hours a week for hydration needs. I’ve had 3 organs removed, including my entire thyroid.
All of that happened over the course of 2 years, including the diagnosis of cystic fibrosis at 33.
I saw my life slip through my fingers and it felt like overnight I went from fully functioning to feeling like it’s a massive fight every day. I had to leave work last May to go on disability. I often sit at a table during social events or holidays with an empty plate in front of me. I often have to leave events early due to symptoms that can change hourly. And traveling is an entirely different experience when you have to bring 5 cartons of food for each day, and I’m not able to enjoy the local cuisine like I used to.
It’s hard to explain the pressure you feel to be the good patient. To be the patient with the right “outlook,” to make other people comfortable. To be the patient who says they have no limits, they’ve got this! To be the strong person that society has come to expect… I couldn’t imagine all of that pressure amplified as a celebrity.
The reality is that medical stuff is a shitty experience and we constantly try to downplay what we are going through to make others comfortable. Worse is when we discount someone else’s own medical concerns to make ourselves less uncomfortable.
I can sit here and say that while I hate that I have to have my feeding tube, I love that I have it since it gave me back a lot of my life. Or, from a travel perspective, because I use my formula, I end up with an empty suitcase on the way home for souvenirs.
Makes me sound strong and like I have the right perspective to beat this thing.
But I can also easily go visit Pity City and trauma dump on anyone who’s willing to listen. And sometimes I end up moving into Pity City for a little bit. Depression is a bitch and one hell of a real estate agent.
My biggest take away from my own experience is that we shouldn’t tell anyone what their experience is and what it means. And we also shouldn’t ask anyone to describe their experience unless we are willing to listen to the hard shit. And, really, it’s just none of our business unless they want it to be.
Not sure what the point of my post is. I just feel for her. My mom has MS, is on hospice, and 100% bed-bound. The disease, like so many others, is fucking horrible.
I had a mastectomy and reconstruction in my early 30’s. It complicated. I hate looking at the scars that will never go away. But, I’m so grateful to be here and ours never hate on anyone struggling with their body post-surgery.
I really appreciate this, as her original statement did personally affect me and made me feel like I should get one too and other celebs that were getting the double mastectomy like it was so easy and a no brainer choice. I am a breast cancer gene carrier and it is not the only option, it is an extremely intense and difficult surgery, it is not just a regular boob job and it was not the first thing my doctor suggested.